JESSE WILLIAMS 2016 BET AWARDS SPEECH(AUDIO)

Ladies: First Date 101

Ladies, not sure how to act on the first date? First things first, shut-up!

Recently, I was at a restaurant and the entire restaurant could hear a conversation that a girl was having on her first date. How did we know it was the first date? You could guess that she told it all. More like a speech, because he couldn't get a word in. The young girl, about twenty started off the convo (or speech) with “my dad is triflin’, my sister triflin’”

"I could tell you her entire family history from her grandma to her traveling aunt to her ex-boyfriend."

Ladies, leave something to the imagination. When he goes home, no he's not going to think about you. What is there to think about? You told him everything! Take it slow, look at the menu and start off by telling him the small things like “I like the turkey sausage and fruit”. Let him wonder ‘is it because she eats health?’ Or tell him something crazy that happened during your day. But, starting off with your family business just causes him to make assumptions early on about you that may not even be true.

Leave him something to wonder about. Tell a story, but leave out the details. Make him ask the questions that matter. And a big one ladies! Ask him about himself, too! If he has something going for himself, he’ll love to brag a bit.

Why YOU Must Attend Formation

 

Beyoncé walked out in formation reciting her famous ‘I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros’ and ‘I like my negro nose with Jackson Five Nostrils.’

From bringing fire to stomping through water on the stage, Beyoncé brought a movement, through her tour. The Baltimore stadium was the place to be for girls and felt like home for black girls.

The Icon danced on a flooded stage representing the Igbo Slaves in Savannah Georgia who chose to drown themselves rather than work as slaves. As she sung ‘Freedom, Freedom!’ the crowd of 71,000 fans swayed side to side.   

The stadium was lit in purple for The Legend Prince. Phones were in the air with bright lights as Purple Rain serenaded the crowd.

You'll walk out of the Formation tour feeling like being a black girl is the best thing in the building.

 

Glam Vintage

You want unique? You want glam?! Ladies don't forget about La Abode when it comes to fashion and the most unique way to glam your home isn't with the ocean picture from Tj Maxx that everyone and their mom has but the antique that was passed through generations.

You can frame old newspapers of events that were taking place when your greats were in their prime. Also fashion or food that was hot back then!

Recently I visited my great aunt’s house and discovered some oil lamps that she had kept over the years. Thrifting is great, but going through grandma’s house and collecting old picture frames or antique statues is ten times better. Not only is it free, it's meaningful when it's from your own family!

These oil lamps are probably one hundred years old, way older than my great aunt and are still functional and can be placed on a front table in the foyer. The glass may be tethered or broken a little but that's the beauty of vintage, the age shows!

Also, if your family is still holding onto old pictures of great grandmothers and great great grandmothers, get it copied and blown up and frame it on your wall. You can create a generation wall from your great grandma to your grandma to your mom to you!

Gold Digger vs Goal Digger

Many men feel as though any woman who is interested in him for his success is a gold digger, and some are, but then you also have goal diggers.

A goal digger is a woman who has her own and wants a man who has his own and is equally yoked. A trait many women look for in a man is dedication and security. When a man is successful in his career, it gives off a sense of responsibility and integrity which is a trait most women look for.

In no way does this mean that he has to be a millionaire to be successful. Most women see a guy who is taking care of himself well, successful. Pays his own bills, has a decent car and takes care of it and keeps himself up,

well-groomed, fit, well dressed and keeps a nice house. For most successful women, seeking a man of this sort isn't a get rich quick scheme, but a match. A man who can care for himself can care for a family and may even have a few things to teach.

Before you think she’s a gold digger, do a little digging of your own and find out if she’s really a goal digger.

She found a man with GOALS and together they dug their gold! He's a lawyer and so is she! Intelligence to match intellectually. 

Why It's Such A LIT Time In America to be a Girl

Hillary Clinton makes room for every little girl that was asked the Kindergarten question, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Before today, most girls would call it a ‘dream’, but the former first lady made it a reality to be nominated.

Not only is it a LIT time for girls, but BLACK girls. We have nominated a WOMAN president that has fought for us from the beginning. From walking in pro-black rallies, to speaking up for black people since she was in college.

Black women are realizing that their beauty has been covered for many years and are breaking free. It has become the norm to walk in your nearest convenient store and see natural hair models dominating the posters. We have begun to flood our TL’s with darker skinned beauty and take pride in every shade. Moreover, black women now feel comfortable being their authentic self and still feeling beautiful. The curly hair is no longer the only hair that can be worn natural.

Beyonce walks the super-bowl with Natural hair dancers! A beautiful black girl who breaks barriers in every way is our black Miss USA! Gabby broke gymnastic barriers. Serena broke tennis barriers.

Not only is it a Lit time in America to be a girl, but it is a LIT time to be a BLACK girl in AMERICA.

The Muhammad Ali Quote That Taught Us How To Fight Outside Of The Ring

There are so many situations where we just go through! Especially as girls it can be our look we’re just not feeling or that situationship. We feel like Beyoncé when we get a compliment or our hair starts to grow longer, a new outfit, lose a few pounds. But when the scale starts moving up or we get that trim that just doesn't ‘shape’ our face or get a little shade about the way we look, we want to throw in the towel.

We like to think that it's okay to only be strong when it's convenient. We think the pity party is okay because we’ve ‘been strong for so long.’ Ali taught us to start counting when it hurts. When we first break-up with the person that has disrespected us repeatedly, we are angry and it’s easy to remember the bad times and stick to your purpose.

But when we are no longer driven by anger, and we begin to make excuses for the bad times and the good times start to slip back into our mind, that's the process that counts. That's when we need to keep it together and count each day that we stand on our own and stand by our decision. Those are the days that count.

Instead of saying well I've been so strong for so long, I can listen to breakup songs and pity myself. No, that's when you cut on Beyoncé’s Me, Myself and I and Gloria’s I will survive! You don't go backwards when it gets hard, you fight! Ali taught us how to fight.

How to Perfect a Classic BUM LOOK on Fleeeek

We all do it! We want the bum look, but we still want to look fleeky! The struggle is real! 'I wanted to look bummy, but it looks too bummy' or 'I tried a little to hard at what I wanted to be a bum look and now it's not a bum look.' But there's always that girl waking to class in the famous hobo style who looks flawless!

First things first, start with rugged! Choose from your ripped and worn out jeans and a shirt you may have cut the sleeves, side-boob or midriff off of. Midriff is great to add to this look, giving it a femine look without trying too hard. You can also do an oversized flannel!

Next, grab a hat! Ballcaps preferrably, just because they scream 'chill day'. you can also use a shaver, razor or knife to give your hat a distressed look. 

Shoes? Uggs and flipfops! They're cute and girly but perfect the look!

Lastly, don't forget face! Yes, you can wear make-up with this look! However, ditch the bright colors! Do a natural look that still makes the hobo look seem polished. And don't go easy on the hair either! Add some curls for the girls and let them hang under the hat. For my naturals, try the bun with the part on the side and pull it through the back of the cap. Like they say, when your hair is hooked, you can wear anything!

Seems Like Those Gorgeous Curls Only Last 'til Bedtime?

A big question from most new naturals is "How do I make my fro' last?" Bedtime protection is the answer. Going to bed without the night process is a super no-no! Twist and braids are the easiest way to care for your curls at night! You can apply product at night, but the best time is when you wash it! At night, all you'll need to do is part in sections and twist or braid. Not only will this keep your fro from that flat look you get in the back of your hair from sleeping on it, but the twist and braids will stretch the curl, making your fro' appear larger and give it some length. You can also rod the end of the braid or twist or rod the entire braid or twist for more curl!

Morning After? 

You may even fall in love with your twist and wear them out the next day! 

This night care is great for kids too!

FUN fact: If you're too tired for the twist and braid routine, you can also pull your fro' up and wrap a scarf around the edges, to preserve the shape. 

Your Edges are Still at Flight Risk When Natural

GO natural they told you, it'll be fun they said! Those cute buns that were featured in our last article are great, but let's get through some house-keeping rules before we're doing damage control. Simply put, just try not to over do it! A week with the hair in a ponytail is more than enough. Although, buns are fun and create a very polished look, try to save them for dinner dates, events and weekends. In the mean time let your soul glow and rock that fro'! The edges are very light and excessive gel, edge control or pulling will break them over time. The best way to let your hair breathe is to go product free and wear your natural curl. The less heat you apply, the tighter and more natural your curl will appear. Reserve a few days of the week to be unapologetically a curly girl and show those baby hairs and afros! For those of you that are not yet comfortable with your natural hair, maybe you're still transitioning, stay tuned for more post on how to create your curl!